She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
