i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Sorry my hands just texted you
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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