You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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