It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Operation Purity has been aborted
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
