apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
And then he peed in my hair
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