I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize