OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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