But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
