god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
