Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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