I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
