we're blogging at a bar
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
