i may or may not be watching the land before time
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
