He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
