Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
