I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
