so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
