Your face is a jimmy john
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We are all done wearing pants today
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
