Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
