Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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