Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
