I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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