its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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