that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
