i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
