ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
