We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Dicks are not precious.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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