I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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