I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
