I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
