$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
