i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
