Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
