Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
