No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
