Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
