I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
