If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
