do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
