I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
