Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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