What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You're like the curious george of whores
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
