Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
