Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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