who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
