how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
