and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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