I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
