am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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