just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
